Friday, August 28, 2009

G-Man's Soapbox: Another Remake!

Rob Zombie is remaking "The Blob".

Oh, Robert "Zombie" Cummings, in there anything you won't remake? According to Variety, Rob Zombie is working on an R-rated $30 million dollar remake of the 1950s cult classic.

The original, starring Steve McQueen, is about a man-eating red goo that lands in a field, & terrorizes a small town.

Zombie describes his remake as "My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing -- that's the first thing I want to change...that gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now."

Robert Bartleh Cummings....., you're on crack. Not only has the film already been remade, but if you don't make it a "big red blobby ting", then it's not The Blob! It's a wannabe that's been labeled "The Blob"!
Besides, if it's not gonna be a jell-o monster, then what's it gonna look like? Oh, wait. I think I've figured out the design... a white trash killer! Just like Michael Myers in Rob Zombie's "Halloween"!

Also, you HAVE to keep the theater run-out scene.

(Blob-Fest 2009 run-out)

Also, why even remake it? We've already got two great Blob films; the 1950s original & the 1980s remake, so why remake it again? And of all people, why Rob Zombie? It sounds like a parody! Rob Zombie's "The Blob"! How can you not chuckle as the sound of that?

Rob Zombie, this picture is dedicated to you.

This is "The G-MAN" signing out!

No comments: